TRUST is not just about big promises and commitments. It could just be the other person's body language, their eyes or an air of authenticity. Have you ever felt like you are in the presence of a person for the first time and you find yourself saying "Somehow I trust this person." Trust is born in the way the other person reflects in us. Finally what you come to believe about another person is what directs your behavior and actions towards that person. So, trust is critical to the dynamics of any relationship, whether it is a business, politics, a working environment, marriage, family, religion or friendships.
When you have believed something about a person and that person has broken your "trust" in that belief, there isn't a whole lot left.
Cheating, lying, gossip, "backstabbing," disloyalty, miscommunication or the lack of it, dishonesty, not being on time, an unreturned to call, are all promises that once broken change the level of trust someone has placed on you. Trust is broken by changing the belief system another person has about you.
Now, I know we have all broken promises. I have broken many promises, many times and it hurts me in the pit of my stomach when I realize I miserably failed so many times and have let so many people down. We are after all human. So this is not from a guy that has never lost trust from people but about someone who realizes what happened and took steps to recover the trust I lost when I failed. Sometimes you can sometimes you can’t. But the point is to try.
You can regain the trust you lost. That is, if the other person has a good heart towards you.
When you let someone down and betray their trust you have actually betrayed yourself first and foremost all. That's the first person you must work with: YOURSELF! You must come to terms with your own failure, your own humanity. What happened? Why did it happen? Was an accident or is that a pattern of your character? Proud people stumble on this first one and simply cannot do it!
When you let someone down and betray their trust you must acknowledge you did it and that will hurt your pride. If you are not ready to be humble and talk to the person whose trust you betrayed, you are not ready to regain trust from that person.
When you let someone down and betray their trust it's going to take time and effort to recover it. It will not happen instantly. This is one of the greatest challenges "betrayers" face. They usually want to "just move on." They want instant gratification. It just doesn't happen that way!
When you let someone down and betray their trust, in spite of what you may do to regain their trust you should be ready to possibly be rejected and you may never regain the lost trust again. In that case it is out of your hands, even if it hurts! What kicks in here is character: you did the right thing and your heart is right. Move on knowing that you are flawed, you have erred and learn from it so that in the future you do not betray others trust.
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